Weird Status Updates

┣▇f͟͞a͟͞c͟͞e͟͞b͟͞o͟͞o͟͞k͟͞▇▇═─™ This drug is very efficient for cases of chronic boredom. Extra doses can lead to addiction.

Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud.

Did you know you can get Unlimited cell phone service without a contract or credit check for only $25/month with Cricket Wireless?

Right now, my bracket is like a drunken one-night stand: sloppy but still doable.


Funny Tiger Woods Facebook Status Updates


would like to remind Tiger that he who drives well on the fairway... does NOT fair well in the driveway!

wonders how many women, would a Tiger Woods woody if a Tiger Woods would woody women? He would woody as many women could he until Woody gets hit by a 3 woody.

needs you to do him a huge favor. Can you please, uh, take my name off your facebook list?

had a tough day, where, on his second ho, he drove through a water hazard and into the trees...

thinks it's times like these where he asks himself... What would Tiger do?

is wondering if she is the only one who hasn't had sex with Tiger.

isn't sure what a "transgression" is, but dang, I want to get me some of that!

can't believe Tiger's response as to why he had "transgressions"... "They're Grrrreat!"

is shocked that Nike is changing their slogan after Tiger's "transgressions" to "Just Do Me!"

heard that Tiger is giving up golf, and becoming an actor... His 1st movie: "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Transgressions"

thinks the beauty of this viral campaign will become apparent when one of Tiger's mistresses appears in Playboy with a Nike tattoo on her butt.

read that "Tiger is ready to quit golf to save his marriage" - I'm no therapist but I am pretty sure quitting other women would be even more effective.


More Status Updates


is huked on fonics.

needs blood in his caffeine system

is thinking about taking up golf to cure his sex addiction... If it worked for Tiger...

thinks reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

thinks he might be addicted to Facebook because he's seeing a lot of random people around the city, that he's already seen on Facebook.

would quit smoking but it's better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs

thinks he might be addicted to twitter and alcohol since, he created a Twitter acccount just to follow the updates of various bars for their specials

might be addicted to eBay considering he just spent 6 hours trying to burn the face of Jesus into his toast

thinks cocaine is a good way of telling you that you make too much money

loves cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

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